Do you need a guru? Is the guru real or fanciful? Is the whole notion a delirium or a precious help to spiritual seekers? Is the Guru” real or fanciful?
Given the many scandals involving gurus, from many quarters, it might be good to have a place where people of all persuasions can contribute to some understanding of what the guru is, isn’t, must be and must never be. While no one can have a personally-designed guru, we ought to be able to figure out how to recognise the genuine from the shonky. But how?
Here are a couple of pointers to start with:
You would expect some unconventional behaviours from the guru. Part of the point of having one is to become aware of the conditioned patterns of your expectations. So a guru worth his salt will be able to prick the bubble of your preconceptions
Someone who is anti-social will do that, too.
If you allow a trusting relationship with someone who is not capable of empathy, truthfulness or the discipline of ethical behaviour, that will really tear apart your fantasies.
So can a sociopath be a guru?
Can’t appoint your own guru
You can’t have the relationship on your own terms.
That is a given, otherwise it only engages the same old ego negotiations that social relationships support, and nothing changes in you.
A one-sided relationship is very convenient for someone who wants absolute power with no constraints and no accountability.
Humanity of the guru
The guru is allowed to be human, with the frailties of a human individual.
Why should one frail human individual trust another frail individual?
Getting something from the tradition
Even a tainted lineage and a flawed guru can deliver the teachings of a tradition.
Getting beyond the ego
There is indeed something that the guru can give that no other can – the realisation that self is not the ego, and a clear experience that the personal self, or ego, has no substance. No one can see that until it is shown to them
The guru might not be able to see his own.
The guru is a conduit of shakti, or the power of grace.
Come off it, that is the leverage by which a narcissist makes people dependent on him.
Shakti is not the prerogative of anyone to dispense.
Does the guru have to be enlightened?
An unenlightened guru can be the catalyst for the disciple’s enlightenment.
The guru must be enlightened, or he is a fraud.
Or at least he has to be honest.
Fantasies operating in spiritual life:
The guru’s fantasy of the disciple, and the guru’s fantasy of himself;
The disciple’s fantasy of the guru, and the disciple’s fantasy of himself.
What to do?
Perhaps what is required is whatever it takes for us to pierce those fantasies.
To discover the simple truth – of self, and the simple truth of guru – is something to be highly valued… but how can you find your way through illusion??
Well, these are just a few of the possibilities that might come up when disillusionment hits the fan. One that is bound to come up is, “How much can a koala bear?” Or rather, how much pain is enough for liberation, or should there be none at all? On that account, one of Rumi’s poems says, “if you want to become a jewel, you have to accept the grindstone”.
But then, when is the guru the master jeweller, and when is he just a brilliant narcissist who gets people in, and then has no idea of how to relate to them without harming them?
LINKS: Scandals old and new
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